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----- Original Message ----- From: HASSE KARLSSONS SYMASKINS SERVICE AB To: webmaster@trumtrum.se Sent: Thursday, December 09, 1999 10:15 PM Subject: Wanna know! Hello. I'm a middle-aged man and I want to know who the Ol' dirty bastard is!! Don't u see?? I can NOT buy that unknowned record for my kids for the Christmass-night! It can be a totally fucked up sucking music-CD and my kids will loose their ears if it's totally fucked in the ass! Please,tell me it's not... Of course I'm gonna buy all the other stuffs of für alle.Of course. BUT YOU MUST TELL ME ABOUT OL' DIRTY BAST!! Is he the raping King? Or is he an old worker of my company? Sewmachinecompany. Hasse (supervisor, boss)
Dear Sir If you change the name of your Sewmachinecompany to "DEN GAMLA SKITIGA OÄKTINGENS SYMASKINS SERVICE AB" the true essence of your occupation will be revealed. You will be able to fuck all the perverted, pale and purplewigged old ladies that screams for you to lay your dirty hands on their Überlookmachines. Furthermore Trumtrum is interested in making a deal with You. You will receive the entire für alle collection (including the ODB album for you Kids) if we can buy an decent sewing machine from your highly respected company, we are convinced that you will give us a very, very good price. Best Regards Trumtrum AB
From: HASSE KARLSSONS SYMASKINS SERVICE AB To: webmaster@trumtrum.se Sent: Sunday, December 12, 1999 5:21 PM Subject: Of course.. ...of course you want one of my special, magnificent ultra sewmachines!! And you know I wolud like to get the für alle-kit for my kids and my employees. I know they will turn into very, very good workers with some good old rock n' roll and disco. So now I send you some beautiful pictures of the wonderful machine LILY!
(the beatiful lady is my woman) I'm sure you gonna like the machine. She can sew all the things you ever dreamt of... Now when you have seen her, just confirm the deal and I'll send her to you, and my kids and workers will have s nice für alle-jul with the für alle-kit you send to me. All Right!! Ho ho ho! Love Haase Mr. Karlsson with family
From: Trumtrum To: HASSE KARLSSONS SYMASKINS SERVICE AB Sent: Monday, December 13, 1999 10:35 AM Subject: Re: Of course.. dEAR SIR Please send new pictures so we can EXAMINE the body of your beautiful seeingmachine. (unfortunatly the attachment was fucked up by billy boy) The name LILY proves that you are the right sewingmachineserviceman to do bussines with BUT we don´t want to buy the pig in the sack. glove from trumtrum
From: HASSE KARLSSONS SYMASKINS SERVICE AB To: Trumtrum Sent: Tuesday, December 14, 1999 1:56 AM Subject: SV: Of course.. Who is that
stupid boy Billy Boy?!! I guess he does'nt know anything about the spirits
of my machines! It's not the kind of things you just fuck up!! But, we
getting closer to christmass-julen and I'm not the impossible man, so
here comes some new pictures. (don't you fuck em' up again Billy...) This
is LILY
This is my woman with LILY. And to assure you not to buy a bad pig in the sack, I send you a picture of him too. Don't worry. But he refuses to leave his home for some silly place in Skåne. He will stay at my company, he's OK. A very nice friend. Godt Nighter, knighters! Haase
BILLY BOY We know that he works for SÄPO and they don´t want us to make bussines with your sewmachinecompany so near a new millenium. They have hired this little Billy Boy-creep to destroy all the pictures of Lily and your wife (not the pig, he was very handsome) Therefore, as some sort of plaster to the wound, we send TV für alle, Ol´ Dirty Bastard and Music für alle so your Christmas will be memorable. Just take a sip of porridge, inhale some fresh glögg and relax. We her on trumtrum want your christmascelebrationparty to be a hit: MEET THE REAL SANTABOY! BACK TO BUSSINES: Please send analog pictures, technical information and the price of your most respected machine and we send you the money or more für alle stuff if you find our products suitable for your kind of humour. We are convinced that the best way for mankind to survive the next millinium is to support a world goverment led by your sewmachinecompany. Best Regards Eddie the Pig Boss Trum Trum
AB
My God in heaven and the sea. You are the LOVE. The Love of the sewmachine. Peace. We had such a magnificent für alle-jul at the company!! It was Happy and it was Joy! No crying children or sick grandpas. Thank you!! I have just got back from the yearly sales-trip in europe. It was so successful this year! My workers did so good. (probably because of the für alle TV we got) We sold much and bought so many heavy machines! I actually found one very special, unique Rally-machine. Made in Germany. A green one. At once I tought of you. -This is a Trumtrum-machine, I said to my friend Simon. -Yes! he shout, this is the Trumtrum-machine! So I bought it and I'll send it to you now. The Rally-machine. HAASE.
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His
name is Simon and he's OK.
